Kmonaefierce We All Want Love
(a blog from my #wellwomanseries)
When you enter the world of dating, you’re wide eyed, excited and only thinking about the best that could happen, which is falling in love. That is until, the opposite happens, you know, you get your feelings hurt, and you’re left with the broken pieces of your precious heart.
So here’s my transparent, yet brief story about how I got my heart broken, and how God turned my pain into purpose.
My Truth: Long Story Short
Long story short, I was dating this guy, who just so happened to be a couple years younger than me which I was concerned about at first but I trusted his intentions. We dated on and off over the course of about 2 years. During our “last go round”, I really began to dig and self reflect and try to get things right, at least on my end. My goal was to rebuild the relationship from the ground up, and I was under the impression that it was a mutual agreement. However, I soon found that it was not. This was news to me.
Imagine thinking you’re working things out with someone and they just pop up in a whole relationship a week later. Yeah. Talk about devastation.
The Grieving Stages
Anyway, I went through all the grieving stages that you could possibly think of, then I landed in a place of sadness, and feeling like I did something wrong. I was at this stage for a while, but thanks to God, friends, and family, one day at a time I got up, and began to move forward. There were days where I didn’t feel like it, there were days where I felt humiliated because I thought “why did you even give that relationship a chance” but something kept me.
I don’t remember the exact moments where the tables of my pain started to turn into purpose. It was like a roller coaster, one second I was down, and the next second, I was up, and in the words of Cardi B, “if it’s up, then it’s stuck”!
You’re Actually Going to be Okay
I figured out that I was actually going to be okay, that there was better for me, and that I am worth so much more than all that I had been through.
While I was on my way out of what seemed to be a bottomless pit, I started lifting up and encouraging others. It’s amazing how God gave me the strength to help other people when I didn’t even know how I was going to help myself. All I can say is, His grace is truly sufficient, and He will carry you through any storm you encounter.
This situation could have broken me down. I felt betrayed and disrespected by someone I loved and had so much respect for.
The Mantra: I Am Not Broken
God had other plans. I am not broken, I am whole. I have rediscovered my daughterhood and that is the best part of this story and the best part of my purpose.
So if you ever find yourself here, I leave you with this: breathe, it is going to be okay, you still have purpose, you still have meaning. Cry, scream, heal, ask for a shoulder, do all that you need to, but when you’re done, look up and move forward, closer towards what is indeed for you. When you find yourself needing a shoulder, never hesitate to reach out, I’m here and my DM is open.
